Charity and Gratitude

Today when I was practising my Healing Tigress exercises, during the bit where I was sitting in meditation thinking of myself as beautiful and practising gratitude, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a new realisation that I had not had before.

Last night when I was massaging my lover and bringing him to orgasm, I felt such joy being able to give him this experience, and then to cover him with a doona and let him drift off to sleep relaxed and satisfied. I felt so happy looking at him sleeping in my bed.

In one of the White Tigress books, it talks about the three qualities of a White Tigress - Charity, Compassion and Wisdom. Whenever I am doing the meditation bit of my Healing Tigress, I always try and picture these three qualities and picture that I will one day have these qualities.

Today, when I was up to that part of the practice, I was overwhelmed by a sense of understanding of what it was to be beautiful from the inside out. Although, of course, intellectually I've always understood beauty comes from the inside out, and that it also one of the things I picture when I meditate, today I felt what this meant. I thought back to last night and how I acted towards my lover with charity - to give for the pure act of giving itself, to give without expecting anything in return, and to treasure so much the act of giving itself. I was overwhelmed that for a short time I was able to practice one of the qualities of a Tigress that made her beautiful from the inside out. And I felt so appreciative and grateful that my lover had given me the opportunity to practice this. It was strange but I was on the verge of (happy) tears throughout my whole meditation having realised that. That for a moment, I was beautiful from the inside out - which is so much more powerful and beautiful then just being beautiful on the outside.