What would a Tigress do?

Yesterday I had a moment where I was really struggling with the thoughts in my head. I spend a lot of my waking day, when I’m not distracted by a task in front of me, with really stressful, draining and paranoid thoughts. The cycle of thoughts can be hard to break, especially the longer I let them go on. They really wear me down, physically, psychologically, spiritually and emotionally. I feel like I have aged many years because of the stress and sadness that my thoughts bring me. And the other day I thought to myself, how much more beautiful would I be if I didn’t cry all the time?

This time I was waiting at the tram stop and when I started having these thoughts, and I thought to myself, ‘what would a Tigress do?’ The power of this thought was enough to break my chain of negative thoughts, and I thought about the qualities that a Tigress would have – gentleness, charity, compassion, and wisdom – and how she wouldn’t let thoughts that stress her out and age her enter her mind and her being. This helped me quite a bit and helped to refocus my mind. It was a new and beneficial way that the Tigress teachings impacted on my life.

I’ve tried it again since and haven’t been as successful. I guess at other times thinking ‘what would a Tigress do?’ wasn’t strong enough to battle the barrage of negative thoughts. But I think it will be something that I will keep on trying.

This morning I was thinking that a Tigress would not only be gentle on the world around her, but she would be gentle on herself too. This helped a little bit too.

I hope the Tigress practice will be able to help bring to my life the changes I need to be able to find some peace and happiness.

Eating like a Tigress

I had my second meeting with HS. I am so grateful that a Taoist master such as himself is taking the time to speak to me. After our meetings I always feel so happy and full of hope. I feel so strongly about the potential changes in my life that the White Tigress path will hold for me, both inside and out. I dream about being a beautiful White Tigress and the peace and happiness that I will have.

In our meeting we talked about many things again. One thing that HS has asked me to start doing is not eating cold or raw foods as they interfere with my menstrual cycle and to cut back on starches. Not eating cold or raw foods will be easy for me, as it is my natural inclination to eat food at room temperature anyway... as my lover can surely attest to, as I keep taking the chocolate out of the fridge after he has put it in the fridge! But cutting back starches will be challenging! My favourite foods are cupcakes and chips, which is full of starch!

I started researching it and cutting back on starches is a treatment for irritable bowel syndrome and people have claimed to be light and 'glowing' when eating this way. It's very interesting that this is the diet of Tigresses. I will slowly start to change my diet and see how it goes. I think overall it will be better for me.

We also talked about the Jade Stem meditation. HS said that the aim of them was not only to generate jing but to also help a Tigress reach the spiritual side of sexuality. Originally I've talked to my lover about getting a cast of his penis to have as my Jade Stem. I think I would really love that, especially when he goes away to the temple for his own practice for three years, I would enjoy having a part of him still with me. But HS told me that my Jade Stem should be too big. Getting a real jade stem may be very costly, however, because it needs to be made of good jade.

HS also taught me an exercise to do before bed to help express my qi.

I am very much enjoying incorporating bit by bit the practices of a Tigress into me every day life. The hour in which I do my Healing Tigress and Willow Waist exercises are among the most joyful and peaceful moments of my day.

Every day I live with a greater sense of purpose now.

Aung Sun Suu Kyi... a Tigress?

The other day, I was watching a documentary on Aung Sun Suu Kyi. She is such an inspirational women, so passionate and strong, yet gentle and wise. I was thinking about how Aung Sun Suu Kyi has managed to stay so beautiful for so long, and I started to think… maybe she is a White Tigress!

Now, I know this may be a long bow to draw, but I was thinking about the qualities of a Tigress – charity, compassion and wisdom – as well as gentleness and humility, and youth and beauty, and I was thinking that Aung Sun Suu Kyi has all of these qualities. So, perhaps, Aung Sun Suu Kyi is a White Tigress???

The clarity I have during oral sex

I have now listened to the first two lectures that HS has assigned me – one lecture on patience and one on clarity. The lecture on patience was very good and gave me a good understanding and foundation with which to approach my practice and my life. I’ve never thought about the value of patience before, so it’s been very good for me to think about this.

The lecture on clarity was amazing too. He gave the analogy of a glass of water with debris, and when you stir it you can’t see through it, but if you let it sit and all the debris settles, then you can see through it, and you will find clarity. He compared the debris to our thoughts. I thought this was a very powerful analogy and has helped me a little bit with the many many thoughts that plague me in my daily life. For a little bit of time it was easier to just see them as ‘debris’ and swat them away.

The more interesting part of my experience of listening to this lecture though is the mini-revelation I had! HS talk about two things that can get in your way when trying to achieve clarity – confusion, which is your mind being a million miles away with all these other thoughts, and dullness – which is feeling like you’re going to be falling asleep. He talked about how when you have clarity your mind is clear, and you are fully present and in the moment, and no longer have any concept of time.

The mini-revelation I had was that when I am fellating my lover, this is exactly the state that I am in! Even when I am have other types of sex, I still have many thoughts in my head and am not entirely in the moment. But during fellatio, I experience all these things that describe the experience of clarity – I experience complete absorption, contentment, and immersion in the moment, there are no thoughts in my mind and I have no concept of time. It was a really amazing revelation actually because this is the practice of the Tigress, that the Tigress experiences higher spiritual states through the act of fellatio, and it was really cool to think that this state of clarity that is a precursor to a higher spiritual state is already a state that I already experience quite naturally.

I am very excited to continue listening to HS lectures and see what else I learn. The next one is on tranquillity. I would also like to do more reading about QiGong generally and have a book that my lover gave me that I would really like to start. The problem is time though! I really need to make some time in my life so I can devote myself to this practice properly and am currently considering the other things I do in my life and what’s important to me to continue and what I can let go of. Big questions.

Starting my life as a Suckling Tigress

I had my first Skype session with HL today. I was so excited. We talked about many, many things – about some of the things a Suckling Tigress will learn, about considering my potential future as either a Denned, Leashed or Wandering Tigress, about the things I’ve been teaching myself, about the potential for coming over to where he is for some face-to-face training and about the practice in general. HS also told me that we need to damper my enthusiasm! Which I do understand.

He also did a face reading for me, which was very nice, he said he could see that I had a big spirit, a spirit that was bigger than my body. He asked me where I wanted to start and I said with the basics to help me understand the spiritual practice and he set me ten lectures to listen to and said he would send me a few things to read.

So now the big ‘initial meeting’ is over, I think HS thinks well of me so far, and my journey begins as a Suckling Tigress begins!!! OMG!!!