The clarity I have during oral sex

I have now listened to the first two lectures that HS has assigned me – one lecture on patience and one on clarity. The lecture on patience was very good and gave me a good understanding and foundation with which to approach my practice and my life. I’ve never thought about the value of patience before, so it’s been very good for me to think about this.

The lecture on clarity was amazing too. He gave the analogy of a glass of water with debris, and when you stir it you can’t see through it, but if you let it sit and all the debris settles, then you can see through it, and you will find clarity. He compared the debris to our thoughts. I thought this was a very powerful analogy and has helped me a little bit with the many many thoughts that plague me in my daily life. For a little bit of time it was easier to just see them as ‘debris’ and swat them away.

The more interesting part of my experience of listening to this lecture though is the mini-revelation I had! HS talk about two things that can get in your way when trying to achieve clarity – confusion, which is your mind being a million miles away with all these other thoughts, and dullness – which is feeling like you’re going to be falling asleep. He talked about how when you have clarity your mind is clear, and you are fully present and in the moment, and no longer have any concept of time.

The mini-revelation I had was that when I am fellating my lover, this is exactly the state that I am in! Even when I am have other types of sex, I still have many thoughts in my head and am not entirely in the moment. But during fellatio, I experience all these things that describe the experience of clarity – I experience complete absorption, contentment, and immersion in the moment, there are no thoughts in my mind and I have no concept of time. It was a really amazing revelation actually because this is the practice of the Tigress, that the Tigress experiences higher spiritual states through the act of fellatio, and it was really cool to think that this state of clarity that is a precursor to a higher spiritual state is already a state that I already experience quite naturally.

I am very excited to continue listening to HS lectures and see what else I learn. The next one is on tranquillity. I would also like to do more reading about QiGong generally and have a book that my lover gave me that I would really like to start. The problem is time though! I really need to make some time in my life so I can devote myself to this practice properly and am currently considering the other things I do in my life and what’s important to me to continue and what I can let go of. Big questions.