I've been interested in sacred sexuality since reading about the history of prostitution for my PhD thesis. I've long been a feminist who is appalled by prostitution and the sex industry as it exists today. It has always seemed like such a disembodied and exploitative use of sex, and has long disturbed me as a feminist. Reading about the history of prostitution both opened my eyes to the very different forms that sexuality has taken in the past, and reconfirmed my belief that prostitution and pornography as they exist today are gross perversions of our sexuality. In reading about the history of prostitution, I came across the sexual practices of Mesopotamia in the Temples of Ishtar - a form of sarced sexuality, practised by women in worship of the goddess Ishtar, when the world was still matriarchal.
Opening and reading The Sexual Teachings of the White Tigress was just an incredible experience. I became so absorbed in the text and I kept on reading the book at every moment that I could during our Christmas celebrations, and most of the time that I wasn't reading the book, I was thinking about the book and waiting for a moment where I could go back to it.
When all the many Christmas festivities were finally over, and I was finally back at home in my bed, I stayed up all night to finish the book. It spoke to me about my sexuality in a way that I had never experienced before. The book was both enlightening, showing me a form of expressing my sexuality that was whole, woman-centred and powerful, and eerily intuitive, describing to me a form of sexuality in the way that it should be, a form of sexuality inside myself that I felt had been pushing to be expressed but was misdirected by how our sexuality is used and misused in modern Western society.
I felt like so many of the sexual teachings of the White Tigress were natural sexual inclinations that I already possessed. But now, the framework of sacred sexuality and the practises of the White Tigress gave me a path through which to refine and express my natural sexual inclinations in a way that would lead to maintaining my youth, beauty, life energy, health and longevity.
My boyfriend thinks I may have been a White Tigress in my former life, as he's never been with a woman who does the things I do during sex, and that I feel naturally and intuitively driven to do. My boyfriend is also basically the only man I have ever been with, and I was twenty-nine years old when we became lovers. The reason that I first made love to a man at age 29 was because I was a lesbian before meeting him. Having sex with him was simply mind-blowing, taking me to states of ecstasy that I had never experienced before. It seemed like a natural and intuitive thing to me to clean his penis after having sex and to gently suck on his penis after ejaculating as it goes soft. When I see his penis, I feel a compulsion to take it into my mouth, and become completely absorbed and engrossed in licking and sucking and tasting his penis in my mouth. It makes me so excited and wet to have his penis in my mouth. I took all these feelings and experiencesto be a given, having never really been with a man before. But my boyfriend has told me that these experiences are not the norm at all and that most women do no react the way that I react.
Reading the sexual teachings of the White Tigress blew my mind as the text described White Tigresses doing as I was doing. It described White Tigresses as aiming to recreate adolescent-like behaviour, and my natural child-like behaviour has always been a feature of my personality. It described how the White Tigress would clean the penis after sex, and how the White Tigress would take the penis into her mouth after ejaculation in a practice known as 'Absorbing the Dragons Breath'. It described the body of a White Tigress, with her willow waist, small firm breasts and long black hair, which describes my body. In these and other ways, my natural inclinations around sex already resembled that of a White Tigress, which is why my boyfriend has been led to believe that I must have been a White Tigress in my past life.
I am so excited about rediscovering my sexuality and about finding a path my physical, sexual and spiritual restoration and development.
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