Undertaking my White Tigress training

After a 20 hour flight from Australia, I have finally reached my teacher.

As I write this, I am currently undertaking my Suckling Tigress training.

It is more than I could ever have imagined it to be.

I see myself, not with the insecurities, self-doubt, sadness and limitations 

that I currently have, but reinvented, living out the potential that I have inside me.

The possibilities that have been opened up to me are unimaginable.

I see myself and my future, now more than ever, as a White Tigress.

Unfortunately, I can no longer continue this blog as I cannot reveal what I have been taught.

I do want to say, however, that the White Tigress teachings are an amazing path, beyond anything that we could image in our modern and conventional view of the world, and I encourage every woman to explore the practice. Even if the entire practice does not suit you, the mere exploration of this practice may help you find something more out about yourself.

And if this path was meant for you, then I look forward to meeting you here. 

Tigresses versus Goddesses

This week I went to a meet up with a group of Goddesses which I have found on the internet. With my relatively new interest in the Tigress teachings, I wanted to find other women (not necessarily Tigresses) that had similar interests to me (spirituality, female empowerment, esoteric practices) and to find new friends and a new community to belong to.

The women I met at the goddess meet up were such amazing women. The organiser, in particular, had such an amazing and embracing energy about her and the second she open the door I just felt this flood of positive energy coming from her.

We talked mainly about intention and manifestation and the law of attraction, and the organiser guided us through a manifestation exercise which was really profound. I have dabbled in manifestation in the past and seem to do it inadvertently for some parts of my life, but I have never done anything with such focus and intensity before. The women in the group were at all different point of their journey and many of them had made it through their personal struggles of self-doubt and insecurity and have grown to learn to love themselves. It was quite surreal, actually, to sit there and listen to the women talk about how they love themselves and how attractive and beautiful they are. 

Whilst I think it was wonderful that these women had learnt to love themselves and to see themselves as attractive and beautiful, it was quite hard for me to relate to. The following day I was thinking about my experience and my sense of disconnection with how these women had embraced their beauty. I was thinking the White Tigress teachings and the approach that Tigresses are taught towards their own beauty, which is an approach based on humility and gratitude. In particular, the Healing Tigress meditation which teaches Tigresses to meditate and to picture themselves as beautiful also emphasis that this should be done in a very humble way. And when I was going through the exercise with another Tigress, she said to me that point of the exercise is not to think about how hot you are but, instead, a good way to approach the exercise is to practice gratitude - gratitude for the beauty that you have been given and gratitude for having the privilege to follow the path of the White Tigress and the beauty that this path will bring you.

I feel much more connected to the beauty that the Tigress teachings teach you. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to sit in a group and talk about how beautiful I am or how 'hot' I may be. But, slowly over time, I may be able to develop a humble appreciation of and gratitude towards the beauty that I may have. So, I may never throw the door open and be this vivacious woman, the woman who is the centre of everyone's attention because of her charm, beauty and ability to flirt up a storm. I may only ever have a very quiet beauty, understated and humble. But I think that is enough for me.

To Blog or Not To Blog

I have recently been considering taking my blog down.

The reason I started this blog is when I first started on the journey of discovering the White Tigress teachings, I wanted to have a diary of my experiences. During the time when I was desperately searching for someone to teach me, I was also thinking about how appreciative I would have been if I had come across the journal or experiences of another Tigress. Therefore, I started this blog - both as a record for myself of what I have been through but also to share with others.

Recently, however, I have been considering taking my blog down because I understand that many of the Tigress teachings are still secretive and confidential, and I don't want to want to unintentionally reveal more than what is already publicly available. I also don't want to disappoint my teacher or have any trust that is placed in me broken.

So, that is my current dilemma - to keep my blog or to take it down??

I am still not sure. 

Charity and Gratitude

Today when I was practising my Healing Tigress exercises, during the bit where I was sitting in meditation thinking of myself as beautiful and practising gratitude, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a new realisation that I had not had before.

Last night when I was massaging my lover and bringing him to orgasm, I felt such joy being able to give him this experience, and then to cover him with a doona and let him drift off to sleep relaxed and satisfied. I felt so happy looking at him sleeping in my bed.

In one of the White Tigress books, it talks about the three qualities of a White Tigress - Charity, Compassion and Wisdom. Whenever I am doing the meditation bit of my Healing Tigress, I always try and picture these three qualities and picture that I will one day have these qualities.

Today, when I was up to that part of the practice, I was overwhelmed by a sense of understanding of what it was to be beautiful from the inside out. Although, of course, intellectually I've always understood beauty comes from the inside out, and that it also one of the things I picture when I meditate, today I felt what this meant. I thought back to last night and how I acted towards my lover with charity - to give for the pure act of giving itself, to give without expecting anything in return, and to treasure so much the act of giving itself. I was overwhelmed that for a short time I was able to practice one of the qualities of a Tigress that made her beautiful from the inside out. And I felt so appreciative and grateful that my lover had given me the opportunity to practice this. It was strange but I was on the verge of (happy) tears throughout my whole meditation having realised that. That for a moment, I was beautiful from the inside out - which is so much more powerful and beautiful then just being beautiful on the outside.

The Passionate Handjob

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A Tigress in Flight!

I have booked flights to go to the USA to meet with HL.

WOW! It is like it's really real now. 

I had some frequent flyer points that I was able to use to book the flights but it didn't cover the taxes so the flights still ended up costing over $800... which is not too bad because I didn't have to pay for the actual flight itself.

I will also need to pay for accommodation, food, and the teachings themselves, so it will all add up to a couple of thousand! It's a lot considering I'm on a student income but hopefully I will learn what I need to learn to start my first three years of practice from this trip.

I am very excited and look forward to everything that I will learn. 

HL and another Tigress will be teaching me the Oral and Manual stimulation techniques, Revitalising the Dragon and the Three Oral Treasures. I would love to learn everything that a Tigress traditionally learnt during her Suckling Tigress stage but unfortunately I don't have the funds to do so. I will need to learn everything later, though, if I want to teach other Tigresses in the future. When I return to full-time work after my studies that will give me the finances to undertake the rest of the teachings.

It seems like a lot to learn in a short period of time! I guess traditionally Suckling Tigresses would have been learning from their teacher every day, whereas so much needs to be taught to me in the two weeks that I will be in the States.

It will be amazing though and I very much looked forward to coming back filled with knowledge :)

My lover has suggested doing some preparation before I go there, like learning the basics such as the meridian system which I think is a very good idea. I will ask him to bring me some books so I can learn from them. He is an amazing man... it's like he's become my second teacher in many ways!

Stop Sucking My Qi!

Yesterday, after I finished giving my lover oral sex and he had ejaculated on my face, I was practising inhaling and visualising a green vapour filling my brain and he looked down at me and said "Stop sucking my qi!"

Haha!

It was funny :D

My pulsating vagina

I have been doing my Jade Stem exercises for a few weeks now and they've been going really well.

I do really enjoy doing them, although they are a bit more work because I need to clean my Jade Stem afterwards!

I have been practising 'Opening the Mysterious Door', which I've talked about in a previous blog as giving me really intense orgasms.

But recently there has been another amazing effect... my vagina contracts all on its own!

Every time I do one set of the sequence of movements and breathing that I need to do and then rest before doing another set, I've notice that my vaginal walls contract in a strong and rhythmic way, a little bit like when I'm drawing up my perinium - only my vagina is doing it on it's own!

I tried to play with the contractions and stop them and delay them etc. but my vagina just kept doing them at it's own accord.

It's really really cool cos it's like my vagina is exercising itself and I need to put no effort it!

I hope that it will help tighten up my vagina.

Also, I spoke to HL about the many orgasms and he said that I don't need to end with an orgasm every time, only when I feel like it, which is good.

I haven't tried the Sleeping Immortaless yet as I want to get a jade stem made out real jade. I don't want to use the one I have now as it's still a bit big even though it's the smallest one I could find and I don't like the idea of sleeping with rubber chemicals inside me. I also haven't finished setting up my shrine which I want to finish soon too!

Overall, the exercises are going really well though and I look forward to the experiences and effects that they will bring me.

My White Tigress Schedule

Now that I have a few exercises to do for my Tigress practice, I decided to create myself a little timetable with all my exercises for the week. I've also decided to keep a log of the exercises I actually end up doing. I didn't want to inadvertenly do some exercises more than others because I enjoyed them more, and I wanted to know how many I actually do a week.

I sent my timetable to HL and he said it looked like a good plan considering I also have study and work in my life. I seem to be going okay so far, keeping up with my schedule and making minor variations as I go along. I am aiming to do each exercise at least 3 times a week. Back in the old days, when Tigresses were able to devote all of their time to their practices, I image that Tigresses would have done most of them daily.

Keeping up with my exercises hasn't been difficult at all as I really look forward to doing them every day and feel 'incomplete' when I haven't gotten around to them. I find such peace, enjoyment and contentment in them. They are one of the few times in my day when I can sit down and be calm, and not be running around stressed and with so many things to do. I can also feel the effect of them, slight but powerful, in my body and in my spirit.

There are still more practices to learn though, so I will need to incorporate these new ones into my daily schedule as I learn them. There's a lot to do to become a Tigress!

Too many orgasms!

I have been having so many orgasms lately!


Well, many more than I'm normally used to.


I've been practising my Jade Stem exercises for a few weeks now, some of which can end in orgasm, as well as bringing myself to orgasm at other times too, mainly when I'm having insomnia and I can't sleep. Then the other night my lover came over and gave me three orgasms. I'm so tired now!! I'm all orgasmed out!


HL told me that orgasms are healthy for women and having them daily is fine. They help stimulate hormones and other good things for women.


It is great to have a new understanding of sexuality, one that embraces female pleasure, connects the physical to the spiritual and the physical to the restorative, and one that is open and comfortable with human sexuality as one of the most basic and most important aspect of ourselves.


But, yes, I'm certainly not used to this many number of orgasms!

My Shrine and Meditation Table

Today I went to IKEA and bought a little table to set up my meditation stuff and my shrine. I also got a little blue candle for the shrine and am hoping to get a few more things, like fake flowers or potpourri. And I got some little blue towels as the lubricant I used for the Jade Stem exercises can leave a bit of a mess. The table I got was actually meant to be a tv stand but it works perfectly and is small enough for me to sit in front of cross legged and not have it tower over me. I’m hoping to get a cloth to cover the table too.

It looks so much neater and is such a nicer place to do my practices. I can’t wait to finish my shrine and have everything set up nicely.

The Penis Is Too Big!

My lover’s penis cast has turned out to be too big for my Jade Stem exercises, so today I went back to Sexyland and bought the smallest dildo that they had! 

I was a little bit disappointed as it is not skin colour but a see through light blue colour so it is less realistic. But the rubber is such good quality and very soft and comfortable. It smells hard core though! But it will give me a more comfortable practice, so that is good.

My Jade Stem exercises

On Monday I was taught the Jade Stem exercises. There were four exercises I was taught.

I have tried two of the exercises. They were both amazing. One of them (Opening the Mysterious Door) gave me an incredibly intense orgasm. It was so good!

The other one (Jade Maiden Gazes on the DragonHead) gave me such a feeling of excitement yet peace and contentment at the same time. It was really amazing.

I am really looking forward to practicing them more and practicing them regularly and seeing the changes that will happen in me physically and psychologically. I can already see that these are very powerful exercises.

I was thinking that the exercise I’m doing would to most people seem absolutely strange and mind-boggling but to me, they seem so naturally and I feel so at ease with them, like they are something I have always done, or something I did in a past life, or something that I was meant to do in this life. I look forward to them everyday and my day feels more complete when I have time to practise. I am very much looking forward to becoming more and more of a Tigress everyday.

Green Mist Filling My Mind

Today when I did the Bao Yi meditation, a strange thing happened. While I was holding the image in my mind, my vision just filled with this green misty haze. It floated in front of the image, although I could still see the image through it. I tried to shoo it away but it just stayed there. So I just hung out and watched it and let it float around in my field of vision. Then after a while it disappeared and the image was back to normal.

It was a very cool experience to have and nice to have some ‘affirmation’, so to speak, that my dedication to the practice is evolving or having some sort of impact.

The finer points of the Healing Tigress exercises

Today I was lucky enough to have another Tigress go over the Healing Tigress exercises with me.

I have already been able to learn the basics of the exercises from the DVD but it was really good to go through them with another Tigress and for her to teach me the finer details. I basically showed her what I have been doing and she helped correct my technique.

To practice them properly we both had to take off our tops and bras. So there I was, video chatting with another woman on the other side of the world, both topless and massaging our breasts!

It was very, very good though, and strangely felt so normal. I was very comfortable doing this with her, and she was so relaxed and friendly.

What I learnt most from today’s session, I think, was focus. To really focus on building up the qi in my hands, to focus on the qi on my hands moving into my breasts, and to really focus on the exercise that I’m doing and every movement and every breath. Before I guess it was getting a bit routine and I was zoning in and out a bit and doing it a bit on auto-pilot. But now, returning to the exercises, I am doing them with much more attention, remaining in the moment, and appreciating the amazing practice that I have been taught and have the privilege to undertake.

It was a great session with her and so nice to talk to another Tigress.

Penis Cast!

Today I made a cast of my lover’s penis!

We went to Sexyland about bought a penis casting kit called “Create-a-Willy”.

It was quite difficult as we had to get the timing and temperature of everything absolutely perfect for the mould to work. We also didn’t think it through before starting and ending up making an absolute mess of mould filling spilling all over his pants and the floor!

But it worked!! It was so amazing. I am very impressed with the casting… you can see his folds of skin, urethra opening, blood vessels, even the texture on his skin… it was a very accurate replica!

I’m so happy to have my jade stem now so I can start my jade stem exercises. I’m also really happy to have a little piece of my lover for the future when he goes away to his temple!

Meditation and Back Pain

Today I made a slight adjustment to how I do my Bao Yi mediation because of my back pain.

I have had back pain for a long time, almost fifteen years, and lately it’s become a real struggle to do the meditation because of the pain. One of the things that aggravates my back pain the most is sitting, so the seated meditation causes me to be in more pain (even though meditation is supposed to relax you and reduce pain levels, I guess I’m not yet skilled enough to meditate against the rising pain levels enough to counteract them!).

Anyway, I have stuck the poster up on my roof – it was quite a feat, being five foot tall I had to precariously balance on a stool on my bed, wobbling and trying to stick the poster on the roof and not fall over!

So, now I can lie on my bed and look at the poster. To stop the qi from escaping from my vaginal entrance, I scrunch up some of the bedsheet into a ball and place it there.

I think this will help my meditation practice a lot. I’ll be able to reduce my pain levels while doing it and I won’t be put off doing the practice on days where my pain levels are high because it won’t aggravate my back more. Score!

Mind blown!

I had the most mind-blowing experience today!

So I practiced what HS has told me to do in terms of recalling those feelings of being beautiful that I practice during my Healing Tigress exercises and carrying that into the real world.

So I have did that today and went to a conference I had on at Melbourne University. Usually I walk around in the world pretty oblivious and at times I walk around feeling pretty ugly and not really wanting to draw attention to myself.

But today when I walked around inducing these feeling so being attractive, the response was amazing. On the way to the conference I had two men greet me as they walked past. One said “Hello” as he walked by and another said “Good morning.” This was strange as I normally don’t strangers talk to me as I pass them on the street.

Then I came to this intersection and the two men driving cars, coming in opposite direction, both stopped their cars and waved me through. This was also out of the ordinary.

Then I got to the conference and I got there early and I had a cup of tea and chatted to the guy serving for a bit. Then I went into the conference venue and later that day, he came in with a plate with a selection of teas on it and a cup of hot water and walked up to my table and placed them down for me to have. This, too, was out of the ordinary as no other conference attendee has a selection of different teas brought in for them!

Then on the way home, I smiled at an older man as I got on the tram. After I got on, I dropped my ticket and he leapt several steps across the tram to get it for me! Again, an out of the ordinary occurrence, as I’ve never had anyone bound across a tram to help me before! Maybe if they were standing right next to me but never from across the other side of the tram.

Finally, as I was walking home, a man who passed me said “You are so beautiful”.

It was a really mind blowing day with so much attention from the men around me, all strangers and all done on their initiation – and I did nothing at all accept walk around feeling like I was beautiful! The reaction was really amazing and I guess it makes me think about what women life’s must be like who walk around feeling beautiful all the time.

Unfortunately for me, it’s not something that comes naturally and something that I need to concentrate on so hard and purposely cultivate. It’s also something I feel like I am only able to do when I actually spend a fair bit of time getting ready…. mormally, when I’m not ‘done’, it’s hard to believe that I’m attractive and so there are many psychological barriers to me walking around and feeling beautiful.

But I hope to practice it more and more until it becomes natural. I am really excited about the changes in my life that this may bring.

Dressing like a Tigress

My next step in becoming a Tigress is now to look like a Tigress. In our last meeting, HL said to me thata Tigress always looks her best because you never know what possibilities may arise when you are out and about in the world. HL advised me to always look nice when I leave the house and we also talked a bit about exhibitionism. The idea is to dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and alive and to generate your energy.

This is a big challenge for me because I often feel unattractive and ugly and don’t want to draw attention to myself or to have people look at me. But I’ve practised this twice now – walking around feeling attractive – and it is quite empowering. It is quite a different way of being in the world and I’ve already started to notice a difference in the way that men react to me. Yesterday when I was trying this I was standing at the tram stop and a man pulled up in his car and wound down his window and tried to pick me up! That’s never happened to me before!

I am beginning to see how this may be a very powerful change in the world and how practising this over and over and for a long period of time will significantly change my experience in the world. I feel like this is just a very small taste of what is possibly to come – something which I never thought would come my way. I never pictured myself as being ‘that girl’ that would have the experience of walking down the street and having men trip over themselves around her. I saw a woman like that when I was in Italy one time, walking down the street and all the men’s heads just turned and starred almost as though it was this force that had overtaken them. It’s so strange to think that I may possibly have a small slice of that one day. But it is also so exciting at the same time, that I could one day be that woman.

I hope that it comes true for me.

Don't touch the semen!

I had another Skype session with HL and this time we talked about congealing. Thus far I have been spreading the ejaculate all over my face and waiting for it to dry and washing it off. HL told me to leave the ejaculate as it is and to allow it to congeal which is when the ejaculate starts to feel lumpy. It is the congealing process that is restorative to the skin and he said that I will be able to feel it tighten as it congeals. HL said that Tigresses may go meditate after performing oral and that I should leave the ejaculate on my skin for fifteen to thirty minutes.

In the past, I have left the ejaculate on my skin for a while without touching it and I have felt it going lumpy. Later that day, after my meeting with HL, I went to my lover’s place and tried the congealing as HL had instructed. I meditated afterwards and it felt very peaceful, to sit still after such intense sexual activity. I felt the ejaculate congealing and my skin tightening. I was also thinking about the oral sex that I had just performed on my lover in it made me very aroused, so I brought myself to orgasm. Afterwards when I washed the dried ejaculate off my face I felt like I noticed an immediate difference in the firmness and smoothness of my skin.

I’m so excited to keep going with the practice and continue more with my restoration.